A Little Shaken

Size varies greatly among horse breeds, as wit...

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It seems ages since I last posted – and so much has happened in that time. My whole world has been up ended, squeezed, crushed into something new. And so now we begin again, and not without trepidation. I can only hope we’re out of the woods and onto a clear(ish) path. However, there is so much that is still undecided.

For starters, Sophie and Jay are still apart. I am confident they will put their marriage back together, but will it be soon enough for Sophie? She is being torn apart by this separation. It’s hard to say how Jason is coping as he is keeping a low profile at the present.

On a positive note, despite all the turbulence that has been surrounding our lives in the past few months I seem to have reached a plateau healthwise and at least if my symptoms have not improved they certainly have become no worse.

With the move to the new house finally done and dusted Sophie and I have almost finished unpacking the mountain of boxes. Only a small amount of books have had to be rehomed – always a sad day. Happily all the animals have settled into their new home really well. I was particularly concerned about Tubby hiking back to his old stomping ground in Berriew as it certainly is within walking distance for a determined cat. However he seems to become a bit of a stay-at-home since the move. Weather permitting he still disappears about 10 pm (returning for breakfast of course) and on clearing out a shed for the new chickens I discovered his new larder for rabbit parts that are currently surplus to his requirements, but all in all he has become quite civilized.

Throughout all of this mayhem the one thing I am sure of is, regardless of this mysterious malaise that has been plaguing me, I am not ready to give up my horses just yet – or the rest of my haphazard lifestyle. While I concede that things I took for granted are becoming increasingly more difficult I am just going to have to find new ways to get everyday jobs done. Also, with our income further reduced, no doubt there will be budgetary  measures that need to be addressed. So after all these years of harping on about, and playing at, self-sufficiency it really will be time to put my money (or lack of) where my mouth is.


All talk – time for action

I’m an ideas person. A planner, a thinker, a schemer, a dreamer. I’m never short of business ideas, cunning plans or innovative marketing ploys. At the plotting stage my blood runs hot and I’m fit to bust with enthusiasm. It’s when the time comes to actually execute the plan that I’m not so keen. The nuts and bolts of it all bores me. Rarely does a plan come to fruition and so I continue to roll along in what is becoming an ever deeper rut.
As much as I wish it were different, I’m not motivated by money, job security or pensions. Whenever I’ve tried to reconcile job satisfaction with financial commitments I’ve approached the search for a ‘proper’ job with all the zeal of a terrier on the trail of a rat. Fired up by the thought of a regular paycheck I research the company, beef up my CV and go into the interview prepared to dazzle. But it has become increasingly obvious that whatever my initial motive it is the chase that is my prize. Should the phone call come that offers me the so fiercely contended position, it is a bittersweet moment – I’m elated that I secured the prize but deflated that now I actually have to do the job. And so I work for myself. But let’s face it, neither horses nor writing are going to make me rich and so when the coffers need topping up I take a minimum wage/no responsibility job. This way if I should start to dread going to work I’m not going to feel I can’t quit – I won’t be letting anyone down and the money isn’t enough to hold me somewhere no longer want to be.
However, my working MO has been scuppered by the current economic climate and ‘top up’ jobs are scarcer than hen’s teeth meaning my writing projects are going to have to pull their financial weight. It’s unlikely that I’ll ever write something that is commercially viable but if I can reach a good proportion of my niche audience just maybe I can keep the wolf from the door.
They say that when the student is ready the master will appear, well, by happy coincidence earlier this year Trent Reznor posted on the Nine Inch Nails website his ‘ew Business Model for Independent Artistes’.
I believe Mr Reznor is a master schemer himself. The difference is that he actually acts on his plans, granting him undeniable success. So even though his advice was aimed towards musicians, with a new project underway I’m taking his advice on board Will it work as well for procrastinators writers? We’ll see.