It used to be that after a falling out I would get brain-stuck. Not uncommon it is a condition that you are most likely familiar with, that tedious reliving of a conversation, each time reworking and revising the scathing responses that you should have used. Of course it is a self-defeating process and there is no real satisfaction to be gained, just an awful lot of time to be wasted. Although I was never able to successfully block brain chatter I knew there had to be a better way to deal with the problem.
My ultimate solution has been to revert to a simpler time – the school yard. Believe me, whipping up a juvenile ditty about the offending party works a treat. Now, I am under no illusion as to the literary worth of these venomous verses – no, these are meant to be nothing more than Pay Back. Here’s a small sample for you to enjoy. And should you think you recognise yourself in any of them, well if the rhyme fits……
When selecting trousers white,
Especially those that fit quite tight,
Tho’ panty lines may give you trouble,
Thongs display the parts that wobble.
When a friend’s in need of fashion tips,
Please, let the truth fall from your lips,
Do not tell them they Look Great,
If their accessories resemble fishing bait.
And hipsters riding way too low,
Put less attractive parts on show.
Don’t be deceived, it is not kind
To lie about the size of ones behind.
Cos, clothes designed for dainty asses
Should not be worn by queen sized lasses
When the waist is as wide as the skirt is long,
Just say No! cos it’s all wrong.
A Sticky Note
Here’s a little warning,
I suggest that you take note,
I have an urge to use a spell
That in anger I once wrote.
It’s simple, almost silly,
But it always works so well,
As my past detractors
Most certainly would tell.
That is if they’re now able,
If time enough has passed,
Cos, duct tape is the very bitch
To unstick once it’s stuck fast!